Religious Fanaticism

My colleague Pliny Hayes, knowing I’m a dedicated Apple user, sent me this slightly snarky image.
Others might have been offended, but not me! Instead, I asked myself what could explain the higher levels of devotion that Apple  fans feel, compared to users of the other operating systems listed above? And the answers are easy enough to find:

  1. The other software providers brag their operating systems haven’t been updated for centuries. And they even brag that they’ll never update!
  2. The help files are incomplete, confusing, contradictory, and almost as old as the OS. Users sometimes complain that it’s almost as if they’ve been written in a foreign language.
  3. Perhaps one in a million users claims to be able to actually connect to the manufacturer’s servers.
  4. The licensing agreements typically ban women and gays from using the OS. And they don’t run many scientific applications.
  5. Some operating systems force you to shut your system down for one day a week. Or they demand weekly licencing fees up to ten per cent of your income
  6. Some of these systems will ocassionally run malicious applications such as Pogrom, Religious War, Theocracy, KKK, Jihad, and so on, that will crash other systems. Some even boast that their new program “Apocalypse” will crash all computers.
  7. Until recently, the Apple Prophet actually appeared annually, in person, in real time to His believers. We don’t see keynote addresses from the other software developers nearly as frequently.

To be fair, the other operating systems do encourage better behaviour from their users. For example, they call non-users heretics, apostates, heathens, idolaters, or pagans. Harsh words, perhaps, but Apple users have an even worse term of abuse for non-Apple aficionados.

They call them “Windows users.” Ouch. That’s really rude.

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